Film News

What If Rocky IV Happened In Real Life? – CollegeHumor’s Spot-On 30 for 30 Parody

You’ve already listened to me tease Rocky IV on this site. So, maybe you’re willing to listen to me to tease it a little bit more.

Or, more accurately, maybe you’ll watch this CollegeHumor video I just came across.  It’s part of an-going parody series in which they mimic ESPN’s 30 for 30 documentary series but take famously bad sports movies and pretend that they were real.  They previously gave this treatment to Angels in the Outfield, and now here’s their take on Rocky IV, one of the most mockable films of Sylvester Stallone’s career (and that’s saying a LOT).  My favorite moment is when one of the straight-faced boxing experts praises the sheer brutality of the Rocky v. Drago fight by saying, “Just to give you an idea of how hard these guys were punching, sometimes the punch didn’t even land but the head flew back anyway, like from the air or something.”

Rocky IV Phantom Punches
So many phantom punches, but why would both Drago AND Rocky be trying to throw the fight?

Obviously, the missed punches are just the results of really crappy choreography between Stallone and Lundgren, and Rocky IV is a cheesetastic 80s movies.  However, for the next 5 minutes of your life pretend that it was a real thing and watch how the sports experts of the world would have memorialized it all across ESPN, although even they would have no idea how to explain why the Russian crowd started chanting the American hero’s name in the middle of the Cold War:

For another sarcastic take on Rocky IV, check out FilmSchoolReject’s essay for why it’s a movie they love, e.g., “23 minutes of Badass Montages in a 91 minute movie,” or seek out the WeHateMovies podcast episode on it.

Then remember that Creed is coming out on Thanksgiving, and marvel at how Stallone has managed to pull the franchise back from its campy glory days of Rocky IV.

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