Film News

What Really Should Have Happened When Leonardo DiCaprio Won the Oscar Last Night

That noise you heard last night when Leonardo DiCaprio walked on stage to accept his Best Actor Oscar for The Revenant was the sound of thousands of internet memes dying.

Well, not literally. Internet memes don’t really die, and if they did they wouldn’t let out some pained death cry. The actual sound you heard was simply people applauding Leo’s win. However, for some it was almost disappointing to see him win because it has simply been so fun for so long to joke about Leo as the continually rejected actor who’d do anything for the Academy to finally grant him the validation he so desired. Wolf of Wall Street made it astonishingly easy to throw out cartoonish memes mocking Leo’s transparent Oscars quest. For example, just take the scene of him dancing at his wedding to Margot Robbie’s character and splice in cartoon images of Academy Awards to make it seem like it’s literally raining Oscars in that moment.

All of those jokes are irrelevant now. The man has finally brought home Oscar gold. He’ll probably celebrate by renting out an island for a week and filling it with supermodels. After that, he’ll give a speech to the U.N. about curbing greenhouse gas emissions, and then he’ll call up Scorese to see what their next movie should be.

The rest of us will just have to move on and find other actors (white ones, obviously) whose ambitions are comically thwarted by the Academy year after year. However, prior to Leo’s big win had a hilarious suggestion for how it should have played out:

As it turns out, the bear was actually in attendance:

Sadly, it did not attack Leo. I guess Stephen Colbert was wrong. Not all bears are godless killing machines. Some of them politely clap and listen to millionaire playboy film stars deliver heartfelt messages about climate change.

It’s about damn time that DiCaprio won, and his speech was a welcome call for action. Still, as far as the Oscars are concerned one of its greatest punch lines just disappeared unless we all know start joking about how ridiculous it is that DiCaprio’s only won the one Oscar.


    1. Oh, I was just joking around. His speech was actually pretty great, and the point he made about how far they had to go just to find the snow necessary for their movie was plenty effective.

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