Well, congratulations Warner Bros. You did it. You broke me. Suicide Squad just completely broke my spirit. It’s a white hot mess of a movie, even less coherent than Batman v Superman, which I didn’t even think was possible. But this was it, man. This was supposed to be the movie to salvage the summer, to save the DC Extended Universe. Instead…I can’t. The wound is still too fresh. I’ll write an actual review in the morning [Update: Just finished the review. Here’s the link]. For now, here’s a GIF from Clue summing up how I feel about Suicide Squad if you replace “her” with “it”:

Suicide Squad GIF1Clue GIF2This guy gets it:

If you absolutely must see a Suicide Squad movie this weekend skip this thing which WB clearly rushed and then seriously tinkered around with in post, as if once David Ayer finished filming the studio said, “Oh, fuck, we wanted an edgier Guardians of the Galaxy, but we forgot to tell you that. Crap. Throw more rock songs in there and some cool graphics, pronto. Also, way more hero shots of them walking in slow-motion.” Instead, rent Jay Oliva’s animated film Batman: Assault on Arkham, which is a Suicide Squad movie in every way but name and actually has a coherent plot and understands its characters. In fact, Assault on Arkham does the opening prologue introduction of the team via snappy montage and block text better than David Ayer (or whoever at WB put that opening together).

However, if you do see the live-action Suicide Squad pay attention to Cara Delevigne’s Enchantress in the finale and let me know if her weird, nonsense dancing reminds you of this:

9885OIt’s possibly the funniest thing in the entire film.

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Posted by Kelly Konda

Grew up obsessing over movies and TV shows. Worked in a video store. Minored in film at college because my college didn't offer a film major. Worked in academia for a while. Have been freelance writing and running this blog since 2013.

6 Comments

  1. Honest words on Suicide Squad. Thank you, thank you.

    Reply

  2. Fair response. I’m absolutely NOT a superhero DC/Marvel girl, and I enjoyed Suicide Squad. Yes, it’s heavily flawed, but it still kept my attention and got me to the theater for DC, which is a feat in itself!

    Reply

    1. What I really want to know is….did you notice that think about the Enchantress’ weird dancing? 🙂

      Reply

      1. YES! Enchantress was a hot mess. Girl needed to go!

  3. […] obviously Game of Thrones back in May) and opting for movies, but then Suicide Squad…well, it seriously broke me. Faced with a mess of such monumental proportions, I practically suffered an existential crisis […]

    Reply

  4. I too felt the dancing was ridiculous, totally absurd. To me she looked like a super hot chic in bar doing sexy dance moves on a speaker. I’ve never seen a villian with god like powers doing sexy dance moves in a film.

    Reply

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